www.christiancounselingresource.com

Let’s face it: we all get to places in life where we could benefit from the outside perspective of someone who has the insight and experience to speak words of life into our situations. When we reach that place where we are ready to talk to someone, we want to feel confident that whoever it is will have our best interest at heart and have the skill or the life experience to match their desire to help.

 

If you are at the place where you are looking for wise counsel, take some time before you pick up the phone or go online to think through your needs and expectations. After all, you will be investing time, energy, emotion, and in many cases, money. Asking yourself and a prospective helper a few key questions will help enable you to make the best choice for you and your situation.

 

Ask Yourself…

 

How ready am I?

We don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from counseling, but it is helpful for you to know how willing or ready you are to work on the issue that is fueling your desire for help.

 

How bad is my problem?

A wise man once said that when the pain is greater than the payback, real change will happen. Most of us tend to wait until the problem is beyond what we think we can handle on our own before we seek help, but it’s always ideal to face our issues before they take over or define our lives.

 

How in-depth do I want this experience to be?

Being realistic with ourselves is always important, especially when we are asking others to look at our lives with us. Ask yourself if you are looking for an answer to a specific problem in your life or if you are hoping to experience a deeper change that will likely involve looking at how you view life, your story, and your relationships with others.

 

What is my time frame?

Are you anticipating one conversation, looking for a 12-week group, or planning on a longer therapeutic relationship?

 

What resources have I already tried, and which ones have been helpful?

Because we all learn and grow uniquely, this will give you a sense of what to build on and what has not been helpful for you.

 

What if I don’t get help?

Will you be satisfied with your current relational and emotional situation if you do not seek help? This is another litmus test to determine how ready you are for counseling.

 

Do I want the counseling to be from a Christian perspective?

 If your faith informs how you work through life’s issues, finding someone who embraces your beliefs will allow you to focus your energy toward your issue without having to weigh your counselor’s insight in light of their differing worldview.

 

Do I need individual (or marital) therapy, or do I want to try another resource first?

A process or issue-focused group, meeting with a pastor, or attending a seminar or workshop may be a good place to start looking at your life or issue. If, however, you are in crisis, feel uncomfortable sharing with a group, or simply prefer a more personalized interaction, individual or marital therapy will give you the focused attention you need.

 

Do I want professional help or would I benefit from time with a lay counselor?

When grieving or going through a difficult season of life where you need support and encouragement from someone with wisdom and care, a lay counselor is an excellent resource. If your struggle or issue seems to be more than situational, or you simply prefer feedback from someone with more training, consider seeking help from a professional counselor.

 

Do I prefer talking to a male or female counselor?

Identifying your preference up front will help streamline your selection process.

 

Once you have asked yourself these questions, you are in a better position to then focus on what you might want to know from the counselors you are considering or to know what kind of lay counseling or group would be effective. Asking the following questions to therapists will give you a sense of who they are and what you can expect from them. Some of these questions are addressed on a counselor’s website or by their office staff, but don’t be afraid to ask to speak to the therapist directly before you make an appointment if you have any reservations or unanswered questions.

 

Ask the counselor…

 

Are you a Christian?

If this is important to you, be sure to ask up front.

 

How does your faith show up in your therapy?

Some therapists are Christians but do not integrate their beliefs into their therapy. They are often more than willing to pray with their clients, but because their training did not include a Christian component, they approach therapy solely from a psychological framework. Some therapists focus more on biblical principles and applying scripture to a situation without including the psychological principles offered by those who do not necessarily embrace Christianity (such as Freud, Jung, Perls, Rogers, et.al.).  Other therapists seek to integrate psychology and theology to offer their clients a biblical perspective while accessing modern psychology. Choose a counselor whose approach to counseling mirrors your own worldview.

 

What are your training, experience, and credentials?

The credentials or letters behind a therapist’s name are important and helpful, but let experience and training have equal weight, as they will give you an idea of how seasoned a therapist is and how well he or she will be able to address your situation or issue. Keep in mind that a new intern may have more life experience than a highly credentialed therapist.

 

Do you have a specialty or an area of expertise?

Many counselors develop areas of interest or expertise as they develop their practices. While this does not necessarily suggest that a therapist could not effectively walk through other issues, someone who has focused on your issue is likely to have a broader and deeper insight into your struggle than someone who only contemplates it on occasion.

 

Are you familiar with the issues I need to work through?

Knowing that your therapist can confidently navigate your situation or issue will increase your confidence in the process.

 

What theoretical approach(es) do you follow?

You do not have to be familiar with a school of thought to ask this question. Ask your therapist and then be willing to further ask what that approach embraces.

 

Where do you stand on certain issues?

If you are dealing with an issue that Christians disagree on, you will want to know where your counselor stands on the issue so you can know how they will approach your concern. For example, if you are struggling in your marriage, it will be important to know how your counselor views divorce so you will know what options he or she will consider in your treatment.

 

How do you know when a client is ready to end therapy?

Counseling is a collaborative effort, and both you and your counselor should have an idea of what you want to accomplish in therapy and how you will know if you have reached your goal. While other issues often emerge in the course of therapy that may alter this goal, your counselor should be able to give you a sense of the process and discuss a timeline.

 

Have you ever been in therapy?

We are all in process. Therapists who have “sat in the other chair” will be more likely to have a realistic (and humble) sense of their own strengths and limitations, as well as an appreciation for how difficult it is to ask for help and subject oneself to the therapeutic process.

 

What is your fee and when do I pay?

Directly before or after the first session is the least favorable time to discover this information. Knowing in advance will enable you to be prepared for the financial aspect of counseling and free you up to focus on why you came.

 

Do you take insurance or work on a sliding scale?

Knowing your payment options will help your selection process, especially if your budget is limited.

 

How often do we meet and how long are the sessions?

Many counseling sessions are 45 to 50 minutes long, and occur weekly, at least initially. Some therapists, either because of availability or philosophy, will meet bimonthly or less often. Other situations may require a more intensive plan, such as meeting biweekly or more. Know what to expect so you can plan your budget and time accordingly, but feel free to ask for an alternative plan if your potential counselor’s preferences do not match the reality of your life circumstances.

 

What is your cancellation policy?

Some therapists may charge full fee of the session if a cancellation is within 24 hours of the scheduled appointment. Knowing this in advance will enable you to plan accordingly.

 

Because counseling is largely relational, getting referrals from trusted friends or other  like-minded people is often the most effective filter in this process. If someone similar to you has a positive experience in a group or a counseling session, there’s a good chance you will also find it helpful. However you go about finding the right fit for you, know that you will always benefit the most from someone you connect with. And because connection is highly subjective, be patient with yourself in the process. May God bless and honor your desire for growth and change!